‘M’ is the new ‘F’ word.

Change is constant but some changes we could do without; the things that I have been noticing are not uncommon and are experienced by many but we often don’t talk about them.

At night….what the ‘M’ is going on?

I have a new ritual in the middle of the night these days, blankets on/blankets off, the continuous cycle between too hot and just right seems to need constant monitoring. Fortunately we have a super king sized bed with a mattress that ensures no partner disturbance so only one of us has to suffer the blanket action. I am however grateful that unlike some of my friends I have not had to endure night sweats which result in having to change the sheets in the middle of the night or the need to lie naked on the bathroom tiles just to cool down.

The winter nights of cuddling up to one another has also taken a back foot as my internal thermostat levels seem to go from zero to one hundred whenever we are in close proximity of each other for more than a few minutes. So no more falling asleep snuggled with my head on hubby’s chest and having the comfort of a protective arm wrapped around me.

Probably the most disconcerting thing for me is the fact that my constant desire to jump my husbands bones also seems to have diminished, don’t get me wrong this is still a very important part of our relationship but I no longer think about it every ten seconds. (If you are a younger adult reading this and thinking this could be your parents I’m sorry as I realise your initial thought is yuk, too much information.)

I have always had the ability to fall asleep very easily, my hubby used to say I could fall asleep mid-sentence but these days I’m finding myself searching for new Netflix series to keep me amused into the late hours. Worse still is once asleep I inevitably need to get back up a few times during the night, much like when I was pregnant, to urinate.

In the daytime…what the ‘M’ is going on?

My memory is failing, so many faces whom I know well and can’t recall when they present themselves, give me a minute and I may remember but it is much more likely that I will remember a hour or two later.

If I get anxious about it all and silly enough to reach for something to eat to reduce my stress this will result in instant weight gain. Now it takes all my energy to try not to eat; I can put on weight by simply smelling something delicious.

I tend to go to the bathroom more often, just in case, as the control seems to be diminishing and the occasional dribble afterwards (what the ‘M’?). To make matters worse whilst washing my hands in the brightly lit bathroom, suddenly hairs can are seen protruding where there weren’t any before and I have to resort to trying to yank them out with my fingernails, which also seem to have gotten weaker.

My wrists have stopped working; I can see myself having to purchase a ‘old person’s’ device that enables you to easily open a jam jar in the not too distant future.

My skin is drying and shrivelling by the day. Pinched skin on the back of a hand should instantly retract when released but now the retraction happens in slow motion. Bits are sagging where they didn’t and muscles are loosing shape.

I have had to learn the art of layering, summer items underneath, for that hot flush that may occur anytime anywhere and warmer items on top. When you see someone in the supermarket on a winters day and she is in a summer dress don’t think, my god she must be freezing because it is more likely that at that precise moment in time she is in the middle of her own personal tropical experience.

Farting is a new worry, air can slip out for no particular reason without so much as a warning.

The shopping list is changing, supplements including magnesium and fish oils, underarm deodorant for body odor when previous I had none; who knows what may be next, Depend discreet absorbent pads?

Thanks Ovaries, Menopause can be a nightmare for many women…

Ovaries hold the key to everything.

From puberty they produce oestrogen and progesterone hormones which are responsible for how our bodies grow, develop and function. They are the key to fertilisation and reproduction and women are reminded of their power monthly during the reproductive years.

Once the ovaries run out of eggs, we no longer menstruate however prior to this, as the ovaries start to produce less oestrogen, the symptoms of menopause start to occur and can last for several months to many years. Symptoms are varied and effect everyone differently but it does have an effect on all women usually from around the late 40’s early 50’s onwards.

When you are young you hope your periods will disappear however the reality is that they may be replaced by many of the symptoms of Menopause, which include:

Insomnia, Vaginal Dryness, Weight Gain, Depression, Anxiety, Difficulty Concentrating, Memory Problems, Reduced Libido (sex drive), Dry Skin, Increased Urination, Headaches, Painful Joints, Hair Thinning, Increased Hair Growth On Body, Reduced Bone Mass, Mood Swings, Fatigue and the list goes on.

Long term health your bone strength can be affected and you are more suspectable to heart disease.

What about men?

It appears that men get the easy out, apart from having to live with dried up, sweaty, farting, hairy, smelly, grumpy, depressed, overweight, forgetful insomniacs who leak urine they just have to deal with their penis getting a little soft and they can take a blue tablet for that.

Hang in there boys we are worth it!

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