It’s mid-June 2020, less than 170 days until Christmas and in two years I will be sixty, right now I’m somewhat perplexed, it’s hard to describe how I feel exactly, it’s as if I am lost, moving through the days without any great purpose, I am happy but feel a bit soul less.

Initially I thought it had something to do with after effects following the acute stress response that we humans experience when we perceive harm, in this case the COVID19 pandemic.

But on deeper reflection I realise I’m feeling this way because I don’t currently have a ladder to climb; not talking literally here. It’s as if I am half way up but not sure where my ladder is heading or the reason for climbing it in the first place, I feel like I am stuck on the middle rung.

So what’s next as I am obviously a person who just doesn’t sit well being stuck in the middle. Although I do love the song by the same name, by Stealers Wheel and managed to dance around the house multiple times to it during lockdown much to the disgust of my grandson and hubby.

What’s next…

Good old fashion life design is required again. Who would have thought that so many plans, dreams and visions need to be created and strived for within a life time?

So back to the basics, you need to:

1. Design the ideal vision of how you want your life to be. It is important not to let your design be limited by what you think you can achieve instead let it be dominated by your imagination of what the most amazing life for you could be.
2. Commit to the vision by defining the daily steps that you need to complete on your journey and turn them into habits. Behaviours help to reinforce our vision, for example if you want to be heathier it’s the daily habits that you commit to that will get you there.
3. Revisit and reflect on a regular basis. By checking in you can evaluate what you are doing, determine if it is working and identify what you need to do differently if it is not . Keep a journal and document thoughts and feelings.

With this in mind, I need to get busy and create my new life design as I have already proved time and time again that this process works. To date I have studied extramurally for my Bachelor of Science Degree when I had young children which led to fantastic opportunities and a career. I have completed ten half ironman and an ironman and swam across Lake Taupo using pure determination and training (none of these were achieved by superior athletic talent or speed). I am an artist and crafter and now a blogger however my biggest achievement is being happily married to the most amazing man with whom we have two fabulous children and three amazing grandchildren. My hope is to have instilled into them the belief that with goals and hard work you can achieve anything.

The question is what do I want to achieve next, what will my life design look like in five years time?

So far all I know is I will be playing the piano, still need to commit to a habit to achieve this one.

Yes I want to be happy, healthy and loved; although I have this already I want to ensure that it remains a priority for the rest of my life.

I need to ensure that stress is less and that I can feel proud of my efforts whatever they may be.

Not exactly a plan yet, so far no spectacular ‘something’ I need to strive towards so my task this week is to get my journal out and start dreaming for the sky and designing the plan and come back to you with the next steps because being stuck in the middle feels wrong for me, I need a vision and I need to reconnect with my why.

If you are feeling a little lost post lockdown why don’t you join me?